✍️ Why I Write

With all things we do, a meta-awareness of our purpose and intention can be sobering at times, and almost off-putting in other moments. Because, for the most part, I am dishonest with myself in why I do things, and I lie to myself about my intentions, my motivations, and even my desires. I lie to myself in order to fit the narrative I believe I should be adhering to.

Why then do I write?

There is no necessity in me writing, and I could imagine being contented with just reading and studying as a student. It would make no difference to anyone’s life if they suddenly stopped recieving these weekly emails at 9am on Mondays. Perhaps nothing would change, either for the better or for the worse.

So why continue?

This question, like all other questions of why we do things really becomes uncomfortable, only and only if, there is no clear intention or virtuous aim. I would be ashamed if one were to ask me for any one of the countless things I do in a day, why I do it, because I would either be baffled by the question, or come up with some selfish reason for why I do it.

For me, to write a weekly post is to reflect on my life that passed the week before it. To make this public for the reader places me quickly in the decision of being authentic or fake. If I were to do the same exercise alone, I would never be confronted with the decision or even the thought of being authentic, but writing may perhaps be most necessary option to producing meaningful self-dialogue. Every time I sit down to write, I must ask myself: do I really believe what I am writing? Will I live the way I write? Do I truly understand what I am writing?

Thus, at least for these preliminary stages of my blogging journey, I am writing to gauge how seriously I believe the thoughts and words I tell myself are true, and to witness, against the words on the page written with my pen, how my life reflects my words and my beliefs.

Its so useful to be held accountable for one’s words, because it is then that we see how much we lie to ourselves, and thus ultimatley, how much we lie to those around us.